November 5, 2024

What is Your Life's Purpose?

It is the 5^th year anniversary of my dad’s death, and I am reminded of the reason of why I do what I do and why I am who I am. It is a solemn, but inspirational time for me.

My dad was a humble man with no high school diploma or college degree. He was not a social influencer, did not acquire millions, and was no celebrity. Yet, he had the biggest funeral in the village that lasted for 3 whole days. As I stood there witnessing his funeral and accepting the homage of hundreds who traveled from afar to speak of how inspirational he was, I am moved to inspire others the same way.

My dad had the gift of fellowship, and he knew how to make other people feel special. For that moment in time, that person was the most important person to my dad. He joked around, smiled, laughed, and gave them his undivided attention. Everyone shared stories of how great a man he was because of the simple act of caring.

He also carried deep responsibilities of serving others and carrying the weight of their well-being on his shoulders. 2 stories highlighted how seriously he took this responsibility:

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Escaping Vietnam

In 1979, my dad lived in the jungles of Vietnam, harvesting wood and building a boat in secret from the Vietnamese communist government. Mom would travel on foot daily for miles to get him food.

After the boat was built, he attempted 3 times to escape the country with mom and 6 young kids (me included) and about 100 other villagers. After a successful escape, we became shipwrecked for weeks with no food or fresh water, and I nearly starved to death. We were then rescued by a mission crew and landed in a refugee camp for 9 months in Singapore. Finally, we were sponsored to come to Whitewater, Wisconsin, landing in USA grounds for the first time on Thanksgiving day.

Yet, my dad had the conviction all those years to push through challenges: chopping all that wood, pounding each nail, skirting imprisonment (and possibly death), and leaving everything he knew behind so that his kids could have better futures in America, the land of freedom and opportunity.

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A Dying Promise Fulfilled

I learned of this story during his funeral. My dad made a promise to his dying father a few decades ago. My dad was the oldest and was given the responsibility of caring for his siblings, a traditional role of eldest sons.

After making this verbal promise, my dad came back to America and juggled a full-time factory job while toiling on the farm daily. After some time, my parents took a risk and bought a grocery store. The upkeep of the store was very labor intensive. Dad woke up at 3 am to travel to Chicago to get the best produce, only to truck it back to Milwaukee in time for the morning grocery rush. Then he worked at the grocery store hauling produce and moving inventory until it was very late in the night. Both he and mom worked these long hours every day for 15 years.

Meanwhile, every penny of profit was sent back to Vietnam and one by one, he helped build new houses for each sibling. He honored his promise and took care of his siblings.

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‍The Reminder

When I think of my dad, I am reminded of how laser focused he was on fulfilling his purpose. He had a deeper meaning to everything he was doing and he never lost sight. That was his WHY.

The 5^th year anniversary of his death was a great reminder of where I needed to be laser focused.

For the past 1.5 years, I have been hustling to make NIVO work. NIVO has been my dream for so many years, and I thought (as I always think) that with a little elbow grease and time, I can make it work. It has always been my dream to make an impact on this world and to do it MY WAY.

Because for the past 18 years, I have hopped from job to job, facing toxic cultures, ineffective bosses, lackluster teams, and deflated employees. And every time I had the conviction to do something about it, I was only met with great opposition, a heartache, and a well-bruised ego. My leadership approach to building high-performing teams, and a culture where scientists are excited and proud to come to work, was NOT welcomed.

But I knew it was effective, because when I applied my leadership principles, I see many scientists reinvigorated, passionate, and pursuing their goals. They are achieving, winning, and striving to do more. This is what a truly innovative, high-performing culture is about.

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The Building of NIVO

And so, I set off to build NIVO to teach others effective technical leadership, creating engaging innovation cultures, and how to have an everlasting impact.

But I neglected to follow the very thing that I preach: be laser focused on my purpose.

I have entertained monthly speaking engagements, workshops, retreats, live trainings, Toastmasters speech contest (Area, Regional, Division), blogs, daily content creation, You Tube, reels, shorts, carousels, networking, etc… all to make NIVO work. And that doesn’t include all my other responsibilities of being a single mom and upkeep of the house on my own.

But if I’m honest… I AM EXHAUSTED!

And so, since June (and officially October), I took a sabbatical. I STOPPED everything. I stopped engaging on social media, I stopped pumping content, and I stopped taking on any new commitments. For a person who finds fulfillment in serving others and achieving, saying NO was especially hard to do. But I needed to collect my energy and rethink: What is my Purpose? And how can I be laser focused on that purpose? Because what I was doing did not have fulfillment in reaching that purpose.

Now, I’m back. And now…I’m going to be laser focused on my purpose.

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‍How I Got To My Purpose

What is that purpose? So glad you asked! 😉

In 2012, one event happened that will forever change the course of my life: my 7-year-old son passed away! He was run over by a woman who was driving while under the influence of amphetamines and alcohol, dying on impact. Immediately after, I stepped down from management. I thought: “If I couldn’t take care of my son, how can I take care of others?” I was hurt, angry, and I hated the world. For 3 years I shouted to God every single day asking him: Why is Carter gone and why am I still here? It should have been me before him, why am I still here?

Then a quote by Pablo Picasso came to me:

The Meaning of Life is to Find Your Gift. The Purpose of Life is To Give It Away.

That was my answer. The reason why I am still here is to find my gift, and my purpose is to give that gift away.

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My Gift, My Purpose

When I reflect on that darkest time in my life, I realized that I was escaping the responsibilities of leadership, but somehow those responsibilities continue to come back to me. Every job that I hopped to, as soon as someone asked me to be a leader, I got nervous and found a new job. This cycle continued for several years until 2014, when I took the opportunity to get back into leadership.

But I made a commitment. If I were to go back into leadership, I would do it right. I would learn everything I could about leadership. For the next decade, I poured my heart, time, and attention into reading books, taking classes, and pursuing an executive MBA to learn everything about effective leadership, human psychology, building high-performing teams and engaging cultures, and strategy.

My gift is the ability to grasp these subjects and connect the dots to real-world scenarios so that others can understand them and apply these principles in a practical and pragmatic way. My mission is to equip other leaders with best practices and tools to help them grow high-performing teams, inspire their employees, and build a workplace of pride and joy.

Now, it’s a matter of staying true to that purpose, using it to drive deeper meaning in everything I do, and staying laser focused in giving that purpose away.

I’m resetting the pace for NIVO. Rather than hustling to do everything, I am going to take my time and build NIVO brick-by-brick with intention and purpose in each brick, laying a strong foundation of value. Providing value will take precedence over deadlines and fast execution. Welcome to the new era of NIVO!

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What is Your Gift, Your Purpose?

I hope that my story inspires you to find your gift so that you can fulfill your purpose of giving it away. I hope that it does not take challenging times, heartaches, or the loss of loved ones to find your gift. You do not need something tragic to find that gift, you just need intention and commitment.

Next week, I will dive deeper into how to find your purpose in leadership.

But for now, think: